why is there water coming out of my eyes?
I hate that romantic comedies make me want so bad to be in a relationship with a man who sweeps me off my feet and makes me a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils.
Everyone Loves a Blonde Joke
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?” The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
I love you.
I have been thinking about how to tell you this for months. At first I thought I would just run up to you and say it. Then I actually considered just kissing you, cutting right to the chase. The thing is, we’re friends. Not only that but we’ve only started to get really close recently. I love it. I love being your friend, I love texting you, talking to you on the phone and I love seeing your face. But, the problem is, I may love you. I really want to tell you, see your face and have you say it back. But, what if you don’t? What if you just look at me with the blank stare you’ve spent your entire life perfecting? What if you reject me? What if it ruins everything we’ve gained over the last year. What if it ruins us?
I want to tell you so badly, but I don’t want to risk losing you. So I’m going to tell you here. I’ll tell the world instead.
I love you.
We need to talk.
My Hook up buddy just texted me and said we need to talk. He insists we talk in person and seeing that I have work until 8:30 I have 5.5 hours until I get broken up with. He said ” everything is not ok but it will be ok” which I don’t know if that means he is hook up breaking up with me or is preparing me for cancer or something horrible like that. I hope it’s not cancer but I hope it’s not breaking up with me. Then I will have hauled my cookies all the way to see him, after 5.5 hours of being nervous just to break up with me. We are just bone buddies, if you are going to break up with me it’s perfectly ok to do it over text.
